What if?

My final year as a Penn State senior will end with a bunch of what ifs.

However in this piece, I want to focus on how the spread of a new virus caused me to be home instead of at school enjoying my final semester. I mean the pandemic is what's causing me to be on my couch in my childhood home typing on my laptop. Instead of spending my time with friends, practicing baseball with friends or watching sports at Penn State.

By explaining my perspective on the Coronavirus, it gives me a chance to collect my thoughts with just pure emotion. Before I go further, I completely understand that what I am going through is not as bad as there are others out in the world suffering. I pray for the families affected.

Where do I start? By writing about my four years in college, starting when I went to Penn State Hazleton for two years? When I transferred to Penn State's main campus in State College to finish my final two years? All the in-between things with baseball, relationships and other key moments? Maybe if I was writing an autobiography about myself I could include this information.

I will start in January. I started my final semester. I am involved in a class known as Centre County Report (CCR) which is a student run TV class that airs live news shows every Friday. From the start of the new year, our class had meetings to share news story ideas for the week’s show. This virus kept popping up in conversations. Now at first I thought nothing of it, as I heard it came from China and it is international and there are only some cases in the United States. Though I feel for people who have it, it wasn't much of a worry.

During the beginning of every week we thought up and planned news ideas for our weekly Friday show. Week by week, this virus kept popping up in our research. I remember in February people were even making fun of the name and making jokes about Coronavirus, referring it to the beer. Personally at this moment in time, I wasn't thinking much about it. I was honestly sick of even hearing about it during our news shows while it was constantly being talked about.

Before spring break, which is the first week of March, the virus was getting so much attention and people were being warned about travel since it had spread around the world. For spring break I had planned a cruise, of which I was very excited for. I saved up my own money to pay for it. I planned the trip prior to the escalating severity of the Coronavirus outbreak. I have never flown or set sail prior to this trip and was going to make a few first-time memories. Not one second did I consider canceling, as I had already paid. My heart was set on the trip. As I traveled to Florida with my friends, I began getting a little worried about the Coronavirus. Everywhere from the terminal, to the airplane, to our rooms for the night in Cocoa Beach, I disinfected everything I had to touch! When we went to Port Canaveral, before we were able to embark, all passengers had to fill out an extra form to make sure nobody had any symptoms of the virus. Passports were being checked twice by two sets of eyes to make sure someone has not traveled to certain international areas recently. Temperatures were even being taken to ensure passengers embarking on the cruise didn't have a fever.

When we made it onto the cruise ship, my phone was turned off. The world I lived in was turned off as I entered a paradise-like atmosphere. Reality for us on the Norwegian Sun cruise ship was carefree with no worries about Coronavirus or anything else.

At the buffet for the first two days, us passengers were able to get food for ourselves. However, on the third day, policy switched to where the workers served everything for us. The staff truly was amazing. They deserve nothing but the best. Everywhere I looked, hand sanitization was taking place and the ship was sanitized from floors to rails. Signs were posted which instructed people not to shake hands. Staff had sanitizing bottles and often spoke the saying “washy washy, happy happy.” Now to be fair, I heard that these are normal procedures, but for me during the known outbreak, this was a first. Honestly, I felt super safe on the cruise as everyone on the ship, in a way, escaped reality and it seemed as if we were kind of quarantined on that ship with how clean everything was.

As the final day of the cruise approached, we heard little news of the viral outbreak. Throughout the week I heard about sports being canceled and school closing, but was not thinking too much about it. As I turned my phone back on when we got to the port, reality hit me hard! My reaction at first was, "what the heck happened in the week of being on this cruise?!" It sounded like Armageddon happened with every sport being cancelled, colleges across the country are closing temporarily or for the rest of the year. All I can think is "What is going on?"

I am home now, I am a week late on what has and continues to transpire. A couple days ago I got really down for a night! As I am thinking about, "what if?" What is going to happen? I was just supposed to be home for the weekend and go back up to Penn State to finish my last semester. I was supposed to go back and reconnect with people while focusing on exciting things happening as I approached my final two months as a college senior! I was going to continue to be a sideline reporter for BTN Student U. I was going to cover the Olympic Trials held at the Bryce Jordan Center for CCR. I was supposed to go to Champs, which is a popular bar at Penn State, to dance with friends. I was really excited! At school, random things just pop up and my days are always packed with fun! Even being an Uber Eats driver was fun! I feel like I was really just starting to enjoy all of this, or maybe it is me currently missing it as I reflect.

What if? What would have happened in my final semester at Penn State? Would I have developed more relationships? Would I have met some new friends? Would I have gotten a job? Would I have continued to make sport and news stories? What if all of this never happened? What amazing things could I have accomplished? The list can go on and on.

To top it all off, according to recent news, graduation at Penn State has been postponed! A new "what if." What would it have felt like to hear my name called in the Bryce Jordan Center, to walk up to the stage, receive my degree that I've worked so hard for. To get a picture showing my family that I made it and life is just about to start a new chapter. I will never have these feelings as they were taken from me. I am not alone though, the whole country is feeling this way, especially seniors in high school and college.

As the Coronavirus continues to be a threat, the President of the United States issued it a global emergency. The virus, through the course of a few months, has spread throughout the whole world. What once was a virus among animals, mutated to infect humans. As I am writing this practicing social distancing and quarantining myself, I will continue to take time to reflect.

As I sulked for a day, I have bounced back! I have great ideas that will continue as I have nothing but time. I know the world is feeling this virus as well and I know the world will bounce back from this. I pray for all of the families affected by this terrible pandemic. I pray for a fast end to this virus. Faster than some are predicting. I just can’t help but wonder how weird it will be after the virus ends. Will people practice cleaner hygiene? What will be the first large crowd to come together again? What will the feeling be like after this is all over? That is a new topic for another post.

I am very upset about how everything is panning out. I wish Penn State gave it another week to think, but I understand their decision. Times like these are new and scary. No one knows what the future will be like, but this is the current situation people are in. Time is so important for everyone. In this case though time has slowed down. Take this time to enjoy the little things. I do not know how much time quarantine life will be for, but what is a couple weeks or months to a whole life? I pray for everyone to be safe. I pray people make smart decisions instead of panicking. Overall I hope we all are able to stay safe. Stay indoors, try something new, and stay healthy. For in the summer, we party and go back to normal!

I tried to make this about everyone, but this is based on my raw emotions and what I am currently thinking. I know my situation is not as big as compared to others. I know people are in much worse of a situation than me currently. I pray that everyone is safe! I hope I did not offend anyone and writing this honestly helped me and felt good to let my feelings out. If you are still reading this, thank you. If you want to talk to me, do not be afraid to reach out! For everyone who has my number or Snapchat, message me. My social media is posted on this website. Here is my email adammichalesko@gmail.com

I plan to write more on this page as I have more topics I am thinking about covering!